Space Sprinkle

SPECIFICATIONS

Space Sprinkle is a euphemism for a rather devious alien device. Don't let its small size and pastel colors deceive you. Space Sprinkles are manufactured by the Railyoos. They are aggressive conquerors that prefer to engage in battle from great distances. Once their opponents are pacified, they move in to colonize the planet and enslave the populace.

Here enters the Space Sprinkle. Designed to be loaded in bulk into a small interstellar travel capable craft, the Sprinkle carrier is launched toward the target. Once in orbit, the craft disperses Sprinkles throughout most of the planet's exosphere. Now in the atmosphere, the Sprinkles follow their namesake and sprinkle down to the planet's surface.

As they approach the land, they identify targets and coordinate amongst each other to determine which target will be assigned to which Sprinkle. Once a Sprinkle knows its target, it engages at high speed.

If the target is exposed, the Sprinkle gets right to work and forces its way into the target's closest orifice. If the target is shielded, such as being inside of a vehicle, the Sprinkle hovers nearby until the target exposes itself.

Inside an orifice, the Sprinkle pacifies the target by vibrating and rotating which soothes and entices the target to lay down and enjoy the sensations. The Sprinkle then illuminates its tail end to signify a successful pacification to the others. Attempting to remove the Sprinkle causes it to push deeper, vibrate harder, and rotate faster. The pacification lasts until the entire populace is happy to lie still and the Railyoo Occupying Forces (ROF) have taken their positions. A failed pacification, such as a target successfully damaging a Sprinkle, results in multiple Sprinkles abandoning their targets and locking on to the target that damaged their assigned Sprinkle. The result of being targeted by multiple Sprinkles is one worth avoiding. Ensure that you have an intact vehicle or structure that you can retreat to immediately after preventing a pacification.

This product is a close replica of the Space Sprinkle. It's designed as a training tool to get our populace used to its pacification methods so that when the time comes, everyone will still be able to move and defend themselves against the ROF. It has the pacification abilities and illumination of the original without the target seeking capability, which leaves you in control of which orifice gets the practice. Stay prepared and add the Space Sprinkle to your supply room.

Material: Silicone

Origin: Mainland China